What Do I Call You?

\\Test of Self Control//

Who are you to tear down my walls? To not care about my feelings and to take advantage of my forgiveness and my love? Why do I let you do whatever you want and continue to stick by your side?

The standards are not equivalent. If I did the same, you would leave me in an instant.

You are TOXIC.

It is undeniable. There is no single person to take my place. No one wants my role. Why? Because no one can do what I do//Put up with what I put up with

I listen to you cry//complain//bitch//laugh//sing//andeverythinginbetween

I have NO regrets being the person I have been to you.

But is it time to step back and release myself from the stress & exhaustion that comes with being near your being?


What do I even call you?

A best friend? Hardly. Best friends don’t disregard each others feelings and do what they please.

A friend? Perhaps. Still lacking the sense of respect.

An acquaintance? Insulting. Too much time spent getting to know you and understanding you to be so distanced.

Then what? What do I call this pernicious relationship?

The one that slowly drains me of my sanity, patience, and trust…

Yet still finds a way to invigorateĀ and give me energy in times of dullness

Does it weigh out? NO.

Does it ever end? NO.

What is it then? What do I call you?


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